am-books Chapter 11: I Can Explain!
Chapter 11: I Can Explain!
Chapter 11: I Can Explain!
Hugo's heart raced as the twins laughed, their giggles echoing in his ears like a catchy pop song he couldn't escape.
He was already beginning to panic inside. Why won't this matter just die!
It had been just one fart! Okay, maybe like a dozen, but still!
A dreadful thought suddenly entered his mind and his pupils constricted. As the panic rose in his chest, he asked. "Are there any pictures of this ass dragon?"
He had to know if he would be visiting a cliff tonight...
The twins kept on laughing for another minute before finally stopping.
The other twin, Lily, shrugged playfully. "Sorry, but it's just so funny! No pictures, though. Just a description!"
Hugo's palms began to sweat. Although he was a bit relieved that there were no pictures, he had to know how detailed this description was.
"Description? What kind of description?" Hugo exclaimed, his voice pitching higher than a cat in a bath.
He felt the ground shift beneath him, panic rising in his throat like bad sushi. He tried to maintain a brave face, but inside, he was sweating bullets.
"Well, let's see..." Lily grinned, tapping her phone speedily. "They say the Ass Dragon is a short guy..."
She suddenly stopped and stared at Hugo with a weird look. She gave him a once over before continuing.
"Kind of scrawny..."
Hugo's face had already turned purple, but he desperately maintained his straight face. He had to act like he had no clue what was going on or he would be toast!
"With a squeaky voice that sounds like a cartoon mouse that got kicked in the nuts and a face that's... um, not exactly model material?"
Hugo's eyes widened, his voice hitting notes only dogs could hear.. "Wait, what? That sounds just like me! You can't be serious!"
"Seriously!" Lily continued, her laughter growing. "And they say he's always dressed like he's just rolled out of bed. Oh, and the hair! He's got this bangs that make him look like a faulty Japanese doll!"
Hugo felt his eye twitch. Do I really look like that? He tried to laugh it off, despite the fact that his cheeks were burning hotter than a campfire.
Hugo swallowed hard. This was bad. He felt the temperature in the room drop about ten degrees.
He could feel Collins' killing Intent lock on him, and he knew his physique or spiritual cultivation wouldn't stand a chance against this protagonist.
Before Collins could explode, Hugo held up his hands, panic creeping into his voice. "I-I can explain..."
Collins took a deep, slow breath, clearly fighting the urge to leap across the room and throttle Hugo.
"Please... do," he said through gritted teeth, the words dripping with the kind of forced calm that usually precedes someone flipping a table.
Hugo started to talk but no words came out, so he tried again.
"Okay, so, like... you know when you're trying to impress someone, but it's like... you trip over your own foot, but instead of a foot, it's a massive, invisible pile of dragon crap?"
Collins didn't blink. His face stayed frozen in a state of pure rage, his jaw twitching like he was mentally preparing for battle. "Dragon crap?"
Hugo nodded vigorously.
"Yes! Dragon crap! Like, metaphorical, of course. Not real dragon crap, 'cause that'd be, y'know, gross. But I just—" He gestured wildly, his hands flailing like a broken windmill.
"I thought if I made her laugh, it'd break the ice. But then... things just spiralled! I didn't mean to offend her! And then I said the thing about dragons with big... butts, and she just lost it!"
Collins' eyes narrowed. "You insulted the ass dragon meme?"
"I didn't know it was that important to her!" Hugo squeaked. "I mean, who gets that defensive over a dragon's... behind? I just—" He froze, realizing he was still digging himself deeper. "Okay, look, maybe I messed up! Forgive me!"
There was a brief moment of silence before Collins finally sighed. He closed his eyes, partly to calm his rage and mostly to avoid seeing Hugo's terrible remake of a namaste pose.
His voice was low and soft. "You made a big mistake. You violated a rule amongst us players. You revealed your true colours!"
Hugo squinted. He didn't get what Collins was saying. Wasn't he supposed to be original? Wasn't that the advice all those pages gave?
As if reading his thoughts, Collins sneered. He looked at Hugo like he was so sure he was going to die a virgin...
"I see... You're courting death. You dared to follow the teachings of the evil sect. My good friend, you are hopeless!"