The Rejected Alpha's Vengeance

Chapter 407 When It Hurts So Bad

[HAWI]

"I failed our people, didn't I?" Hawi asked as she held onto Ruru. She had been scared of never being enough and now her fears were coming to life. No matter what rumor said to her, she knew she had fallen back. Maybe she wasn't the right person for the job, no?

"No, baby, you didn't. You did everything possible to protect them. You did your best and you did well," Ruru said as she looked at Hawi when she pulled back from the hug.

She loved this woman so much it was breaking her to think that Hawi was falling apart once again. Life wasn't fair to the broken Sicario girl, and it wasn't fair how every time she was building herself back up, everything would fall apart.

"My best wasn't enough, Ruru. Look at us now. Where did my best get us? On a damn shore, thousands of miles away from home, with nothing other than the reminder of how badly I failed.

"Everything we worked so hard for. All that we did so far, look where I led us. Perhaps I was always meant to be a failure. A broken girl with nothing to live for other than the rage that came with vengeance.

"Who am I without all of these? What am I really? Would anyone ever look at me if I wasn't this broken girl with anger issues that scared the shit out of everyone including the powerful protectors of the realm?

"Would they want to be around me if I wasn't the one that scared them worse than the devil himself? Would they have chosen to be by my side if the unfortunate shit that happened along the way didn't happen?

"Would they have loved me if I wasn't the Sicario girl with a destiny weighing over my shoulders? Who am I really? Other than the chaotic woman everyone has to be on the lookout for, because she might go nuts anytime?

"You all trusted me, and now there is nothing here anymore. My whole life I sought the approval I was always denied by the people I loved, and look where that got me. With nothing, nothing to hold on to, nothing to show for all that I did.

Granted, the consequences of what happened today were bound to be dire, but without her, all of this wouldn't have even gotten here. She was the right competition and the sooner she understood that, the easier her life would be.

"I would stay beside you, my love. I loved you before you were even an alpha, Hawi. I fell in love with you without knowing who you were and what you did. I fell in love with the beautiful nine-year-old who freely ran around the free lands.

"The girl who didn't have anything but white lilies in her hands, as she ran through the flower garden like the world was worth living in. I loved you long before I knew what love was, and I know I would do it again.

"It's not easy doing this, I know. I understand how overwhelming it has been for you, but baby I would never leave your side. Title or not, mate bond or not, I would always be by your side.

"I would stay even if the world shunned you and called you names. I would stay if the realm praised you and thought of you as the best thing that ever happened. I would always cheer for you at your lowest and highest.

"Everyone understands that this is not easy, sweetheart, and they know that you do more than they would ever have done. But if it's too much, if the pain is too much, if the pressure is a lot, then we can run, Hawi.

"We can go to someplace where no one knows us, a place where it would be just us, to women living the lives they hoped for. If that is what it takes to see the smile on your face again, then we can do it.

"I know how to create steady untraceable portals. Just say the word, tell me that is what you want and hell's done, even the goddess won't find us for the longest time. All you have to do, is say the word, baby, and I will make it happen," Ruru said softly.

She was wiping Hawi's tears, when she saw the protectors in the distance watching with sad eyes. They could understand what wasn't an issue, but the fact that they understood the two women, couldn't be ignored.

"I... I can't leave without knowing if Mbali is okay," Hawi sighed as she furiously wiped her tears.