am-books Chapter 485 Break My Heart, As Always [3]
Chapter 485 Break My Heart, As Always [3]
[RUKIYA]
[FLASHBACK]
[Still, five years ago, The day of Malika and Jer's Wedding - evening]
"What happened to you? You fainted at the wedding, it's a good thing I got you here on time. You were hyperventilating, and calling for—" Rukiya began, before stopping mid-sentence and Hawi looked at her like she was bonkers.
"Calling for who, Rukiya?"
"Your father, Hawi, Alpha Sicario," Rukiya said carefully, worried that Hawi would snap, only that this time, she wouldn't blame her.
"What about him? He abandoned me, remember?' Hawi bit back like she wasn't already aware of the pain that was breaking her heart worse than life itself.
"Hawi... Alpha Sicario, was murdered," Luna Clarkson choked out sadly and Hawi looked at her like it was a lie. Surely, it had to be, right?
"I'm sorry, Jaberna," Rukiya added defeatedly, her head bowed in sadness.
She knew what it felt like to lose a father, to lose the one person she cared about. She herself had never healed from the loss she had felt when she was told her father was dead.
It was a reality that Rukiya had kept flicking through, hoping that it would fade each time, even when she knew it would never go away. However, seeing Hawi in this state because of her father, reminded Rukiya of what pain truly was.
She could have offered to take up Hawi's pain, but how the fuck was she supposed to feel shit she didn't even heal from herself? What the hell was she supposed to tell Hawi when she knew that nothing would ever be better at that stage?
She was hopeless, but Hawi's words reminded her just how hopeless her desire to be with her was. Perhaps she just needed to take a hint, but would her heart let her leave the beautiful woman before her?
"Rukiya fucking Greyson. Aren't you a sight for sore eyes?" Hawi said as she panted heavily. She was still trying to catch a breath but she felt like everything else didn't matter right now.
"That I am. Though I must say I almost won the race. Your wolf just couldn't take the competition. Just to let you know, next time I will race you and make sure I win," Rukiya said nonchalantly like it was the commonest thing for her.
Then again, Hawi had already expressed hate for her, and nothing would change that.
For Rukiya, nothing would ever hurt her more than the fact that Hawi had told her point-blank that she hated Rukiya. It honestly couldn't get any worse than that, and maybe that was consoling to Rukiya.
The fact that Hawi had always pushed her verbally and never forced her away was something she was counting on. Maybe Rukiya was deluded, but who could blame her for wanting to be with the woman after her heart?
Rukiya Greyson looked like nothing could scare her anymore despite the fact that she was alone with the wildest woman she had ever met. But what was Rukiya to do? Give up on her heart's greatest desire, or live like shit wasn't about to hit the fan literally?
"Are you okay? I noticed your paws were bleeding. Seems like it was so intense because you have scratches on your legs," Rukiya voiced worriedly as she walked towards Hawi who seemed determined to ignore her.
Well, that wasn't new to Rukiya, she just wanted Hawi to be okay, even if there was a higher chance that Hawi would push her away, again.
"No shit Sherlock. Mind your damn business, will you?" Hawi retorted but Rukiya just stared at her with a smile and loving eyes.
She had known that falling in love with Hawi had to be the craziest of things that she'd ever done, but she wasn't going to complain about that, because each time Hawi pushed her away, Rukiya wanted to get closer and closer.
Maybe Hawi was challenging her, to see how long she would hold on in the pain, but damn, she needed to make a decision real fast, because Hawi wasn't going to be as nice and as forgiving to her.
The woman was detached from everyone except for Malika anyway.
"Oh, but I am, even if you hate me and want to kill me," Rukiya said with a light laugh, even though the pang in her heart wasn't making her life any easier.